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Etiquette help...in hurry.


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kristin31
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PostPosted: 10/02/03 - 08:31    Post subject: Etiquette help...in hurry.
OK. So a friend of my B/F whose been notoriously catty to me, but who can ALSO get me some marketing/P/R help with writing/publishing, even with new locale, sends me an invite to a party she's throwing for us. She's not only got my first name spelled wrong, she's referring to me as "Kristen Davis". Totally wrong last name, AFTER I gave her a new business card with e-mail and name.

Am I being a brat to correct her error? When she first met me, she reached up, patted me on the head and said" Why, aren't you just the most lovely little thing?" (anyone who knows me will understand why this would grate my last nerve)

Anyway, I can use her help with the marketing/publishing side of writing, but at the same time I' like to correct an obvious error, politely. Any thoughts?

Thanks, wonderful RR Ms.Manners subs...
keltic63
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PostPosted: 10/02/03 - 08:35    Post subject:
Use her and toss her aside!

go to the party, be sure to introduce yourself taking careful pains to make sure people have your name correct.
Maddies Wench
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PostPosted: 10/02/03 - 08:39    Post subject:
keltic63 wrote:
Use her and toss her aside!

go to the party, be sure to introduce yourself taking careful pains to make sure people have your name correct.


I'm thinking there is some major jealously here. I think I would have had to deliver a lightning fast roundhouse to the melon of anyone that patten me on the head besides the people who love me. They're allowed. But someone you JUST MET??? PUHLEEZ. Do I get the impression that she has the same personality as that woman on Will & Grace?

Make it loud and clear SHE got your name wrong on the invites whenever you introduce yourself.
elkid
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PostPosted: 10/02/03 - 08:44    Post subject:
Correct her error, saying "I could understand how easily that mistake could be made. After all, I AM hot, just like her." Then milk her for all the help she can give you.

MW - that's Karen Walker. LOVE her.
akern
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PostPosted: 10/02/03 - 08:50    Post subject:
Is she really trying to help you? You don't think she did that on purpose do you? I just have a suspicious nature.
TriBob
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PostPosted: 10/02/03 - 08:59    Post subject:
all of the above
copteacher
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PostPosted: 10/02/03 - 09:14    Post subject:
Thank but remind of error. Tell her not to correct. No biggie really just make sure she takes responsiblity for the erro.
Sandy Cheeks
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PostPosted: 10/02/03 - 09:17    Post subject:
Are you sure you want this woman marketing for you if she apparently doesn't even know who you are? Shocked
kristin31
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PostPosted: 10/02/03 - 09:22    Post subject:
Thanks, all. I'm not really sure if she did the name error on purpose, but seeing as she has two of my cards, and has been acquainted with me for a year...and the reaction when we first met...I was too shocked to do much of anything.

I guess now I'm also wondering if she really wants to help or just committ sabotage....I HATE this whole game-playing thing.
Stupid crap.

Edited to say ( or messed up) that I don't want her actually doing my marketing, I want the possible connections. I am just trying to get an "in", but the more that I think I about this, the less trust I place in any possibilities.

I don't want to make a scene; one other issue is that a lot of the people at this party are going to say "Who in the F is Kristen Davis? Is that supposed to be you?"


Last edited by kristin31 on 10/02/03 - 09:35; edited 8 times in total
coachmarkos
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PostPosted: 10/02/03 - 09:25    Post subject:
Just correct her mistake.

if she does it again, do it again.

keep doing it.

make sure other people here.

eventually she'll tire of her little game if she sees that you are unaffected by it.
Sandy Cheeks
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PostPosted: 10/02/03 - 09:40    Post subject:
What I would do is assume that she didn't mean any harm, and take it from there. Tell her, "I'm sure you didn't mean to do this, but you got my name wrong on the invitation. Don't worry about correcting it, but I just wanted to make sure you have my contact information correct." And then give her the right information.

If it's done like that where the whole process of giving her the right info is done deliberately and not incidentally, maybe she'll remember or "remember" next time, whatever her motives are.

After all, she could just be stupid and not sabatoging.

As an aside, is she OLD? The only people I know who would pat anyone on the head are women over 80...
kristin31
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PostPosted: 10/02/03 - 09:44    Post subject:
Thanks again for the input...

No, she's only about 45 or so..I don't consider that old...I think it's a southern thing, as she's from South Carolina.
rolling rock
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PostPosted: 10/02/03 - 10:07    Post subject:
kristin31 wrote:
Thanks again for the input...

No, she's only about 45 or so..I don't consider that old...I think it's a southern thing, as she's from South Carolina.


i like Cheeks response here Kristin. altho' i'm leaning towards Akern's suspicious feeling too.

i am 45. i would no more pat another adult on the head than i would buy a DixieChicks CD. I pat my cat on the head and she rolls her eyes at me.

yeah, aren't you just the most lovely little thang?? THING THIS B!TCH.

no, be nice -- Coach has good advice too.
TimRuns
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PostPosted: 10/02/03 - 10:54    Post subject:
akern wrote:
Is she really trying to help you? You don't think she did that on purpose do you? I just have a suspicious nature.
airehead
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PostPosted: 10/02/03 - 11:08    Post subject:
Kill her with kindness.


I think she is purposely trying to assert dominance over you. By "forgetting" your name she is trying to say you mean nothing. By "patting" you on the head, she is showing you are beneath her. (like a pet or small child) So, apparently, you threaten the h*ll out of her. Good job!!!


You have the upper hand, believe it or not. She is intimidated by you and trying to belittle you.

Know her game, watch her like a snake, but kill her with kindness. Her type always shows her true colors.
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